Update on the Bailey incident

Called the vet today because I wanted to let them know what happened and have Bailey cremated. I don't have all my rats cremated, I'll admit, but Bailey was something special. Although no one, not me, not my boyfriend, and not the vet, who has dealt with a lot of my rodents, really ever likes to admit that aloud for fear of hurting all the other rat feelings out there. But we've all said it.

He told me I didn't do anything wrong, and I knew he'd say that even if I brought her home swinging her by her tail into fence-posts, because it's just what you tell people when they're bawling their faces off. But I believe him - this surgery wasn't as simple as most have been, since the tumors were in tissue, and he had to remove muscle. Usually, he says, it's just fat that he just "scoops" out (ew). But the stress of the surgery, combined with the anaesthetic, sometimes just has bad results.

He was very surprised, though, as until they brought her out to show her to me (of course) she was apparently up and doing somersaults in the cage. They all commented on that, and looking back on it now, we should have found something wrong with that, but...well, what is it they say? Hindsight is 20/20.

I feel a little better having been assured it wasn't anything I did. I was thinking maybe I should have moved her more (they told me to do that with Samus, so that she wouldn't get stiff muscles), or that I let her dehydrate to death, or that I boiled her to death with the heating pad.

But having all that cleared away makes me feel less like it's the end of the world, although I still feel like the shittiest of all the shits ever shat.

By the way, my boyfriend is interested in commissioning a statue of Bailey. Like, I'm picturing, 1,000x life size, and looking epic.

How do we get this done?

Edit:
Oh, and thank you very much for all your kind words and sympathies. They made the crying worse of course, but I figure that's all part of the whole...thing. I may reply to them, but I'm not sure if I have the energy, but I have read them all, each and every one. Thank you.